It's All Conceptual.

First off it's 3:33, so make a wish.

I was going to write about something completely different, but I looked over at the clock and figured that this sort of post would suffice for the day.

This is the type of person I am. Though at times, I can be very pessimistic, I believe in things like karma and wishing when the clock strikes a certain time. I relish in thinking of situations that may come in the future and I enjoy thinking of past events.  

And why do I do this? Deep down, I know that wishing can only get you so far. It's not like I have a good reason to continue to wish for things. And if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Often, my dreams are much nicer than reality, so I sleep the day away to avoid the inevitable. 

Before I go on, when it comes to my blog, the posts I have are really just ways for me to vent and get my thoughts out in the open. Because while I like talking to people about what's going on in my life, I can't tell you everything in all honesty. I would just feel far too uncomfortable. So, please don't think I'm looking for your pity or anything remotely close to that. I'm simply just writing to write. 

So, back to the whole superstitions thing. I guess it just goes back to the fact that I like to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. I don't get a job because I'm not supposed to work there, I stop talking to this person because we aren't supposed to be friends anymore, I didn't get an A in Space because I'll be okay regardless. I doubt so many things in my life, that I feel like I do this to counteract each doubt I have. To make myself be okay with the things that occur in my life. 

I just wish I didn't care. I want to be myself minus all of my worries and fears, minus everything that holds me back from being free. I see these people who truly don't give a fuck about what others think of them and don't view anything as a mistake or something to regret. 

I'm sitting at my desk right now, in my dorm. As I'm finishing this post, I'm thinking about how much I don't really want anyone to read this. It's a poorly written post and I'm just not feeling it. But I'm going to post it anyways.

And no, it's not because I'm trying to come across as being the type that doesn't care what you think about me. Because I do, and you all know that. Maybe I'm just okay with it, though. I care that you might find this pointless or that you don't like me or that you do like me. 

But as I said, I write simply just to write and that is all.