Marc Jacobs.

Marc Jacobs launched these tees last year for cancer awareness month. They're now selling for $35. I want one. 

Lately.

So Spring Break is in a few days. Really excited to just not have class and projects to worry about. Though, I will need to do some serious work in terms of art and shit for my portfolio. 

That's really the only thing I'm concerned about right now. Applying to my major. Hopefully things will all go well. 

I'm not really a "spur-of-the-moment" type of person. I like my order for the most part, with some few exceptions. Last week, though I decided to screw school and go on a road trip for a few days with some friends. So glad I did, despite the fact that JMU does not have good parties. Sorry Cullen. 

Anyways. I'm going to NYC sometime over Spring Break. Stoked for that. It's been almost a year since I was last there and it's about time that I go back. Really cool city. 

Not long after break, I'll be out of school, and back at home for three months. Bummer. Hopefully, I'll get a job in the fan and will be taking some classes at VCU so I don't have to deal with that shit later. 

Things I need:

Mac Charger

New phone  (Which I don't want because my current one is fucking awesome) 

Road bike

Money

Clothes (I have none anymore...buy me some) 

Mully told me about a sweet site to download music off of:

http://www.sadsteve.com

Do it. It's pretty legit. 

P.S. Lyrics as a Facebook status don't necessarily mean what it may seem to suggest. Could be that I just like the song. I mean, just saying. 

Until next time. xxxo.

It's All Conceptual.

First off it's 3:33, so make a wish.

I was going to write about something completely different, but I looked over at the clock and figured that this sort of post would suffice for the day.

This is the type of person I am. Though at times, I can be very pessimistic, I believe in things like karma and wishing when the clock strikes a certain time. I relish in thinking of situations that may come in the future and I enjoy thinking of past events.  

And why do I do this? Deep down, I know that wishing can only get you so far. It's not like I have a good reason to continue to wish for things. And if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Often, my dreams are much nicer than reality, so I sleep the day away to avoid the inevitable. 

Before I go on, when it comes to my blog, the posts I have are really just ways for me to vent and get my thoughts out in the open. Because while I like talking to people about what's going on in my life, I can't tell you everything in all honesty. I would just feel far too uncomfortable. So, please don't think I'm looking for your pity or anything remotely close to that. I'm simply just writing to write. 

So, back to the whole superstitions thing. I guess it just goes back to the fact that I like to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. I don't get a job because I'm not supposed to work there, I stop talking to this person because we aren't supposed to be friends anymore, I didn't get an A in Space because I'll be okay regardless. I doubt so many things in my life, that I feel like I do this to counteract each doubt I have. To make myself be okay with the things that occur in my life. 

I just wish I didn't care. I want to be myself minus all of my worries and fears, minus everything that holds me back from being free. I see these people who truly don't give a fuck about what others think of them and don't view anything as a mistake or something to regret. 

I'm sitting at my desk right now, in my dorm. As I'm finishing this post, I'm thinking about how much I don't really want anyone to read this. It's a poorly written post and I'm just not feeling it. But I'm going to post it anyways.

And no, it's not because I'm trying to come across as being the type that doesn't care what you think about me. Because I do, and you all know that. Maybe I'm just okay with it, though. I care that you might find this pointless or that you don't like me or that you do like me. 

But as I said, I write simply just to write and that is all. 

Random, Like My Thoughts....

Like my life.

It seems like I haven't updated this in forever, but I just don't really know what to write about anymore. 

This post is about nothing and maybe everything as well. It depends on how you want to look at it, I guess. 

I skipped Art History this morning. I woke up at 7:30 then again at 8:33 and lastly at 8:50 am. My class didn't start until 10, but I decided as soon as I got up that I wasn't going to make the effort to go. It's a 75 minute class, and this morning, I just didn't have enough energy to sit through it without falling asleep. Plus, attendance has no effect on my grade this semester. 

In the past 10 days, I have gone out a total of six times. SIX. Since when do I party this much? I don't even think Blair and Serena party this much. I should slow down; beer's not worth the calories and doesn't even do anything for me. Plus, one of my relatives was an Alcoholic. 

On a few of those nights I did something that I hoped I would never do. I smoked some of my friends' cigarettes. I don't even know why I wanted to. I think part of it is just the fact that I'm constantly around smokers. Smoking is horrible for you, though. It causes all types of cancer and can cause a fucking heart attack, gives you gross breath and teeth and skin, makes you generally colder, and you lose your sense of taste. WTF. Also, what's strange is that a year ago, if I had met someone and then found out they smoked, I wouldn't like them as much. 

I feel like a Hypocrite. And what's worse, I think I have an oral fixation.

I can't stop thinking about this one thing. It's seriously making me annoyed and sad and it's not even worth my time, but you know you can't help how you feel. I just keep telling myself that things will be good and things will get better.

My mom dropped off some stuff for me yesterday. I had forgotten some clothes at home and I needed some money and some water bottles. Along with all of that, she packed in there about 20 protein bars. I'm a Vegetarian and I think that worries her.

It's almost Noon now, and I'm still in bed. I tried to find a good excuse for why I shouldn't go to Art History this morning, because you know, I have a horribly huge conscience. I told myself that it was because I needed rest and I had a stomach ache. Well, I didn't then, but I do now, and it sucks. 

I should really get dressed now and start working on my Surface project. Chris Garneau is so soothing, though.  

I do, I take care of the love

Cause red rockets fly if you don't

I'm always gonna worry about this

But you tell me, it's okay, Chris

I can't tell you why babies cry

But lies they won't keep us alive, no

I hope you don't go away

I still have some nice things to do and say 

Like we're a dime in a well

They're hard to find 

I'm chewing on my iPod headphones now. I really want a cigarette. Damnit. 

Just ten more minutes, then I'll get up and start my day. Who is this person I'm becoming? I'll at least eat a protein bar for my mom. 

Maybe I can fight these cravings.