Ay Wazzup?

I got into my major! You have no idea how relieved I am. Except, my cousin, who is about 50 years old, was telling me about the ID program and how intense and demanding it is, and how I will be working constantly and all of this other stuff. So, now I'm a little nervous, but at least I'm in, right? 

Bad thing about now being in my major is, I now have very little motivation to keep up with school in terms of non-art-related classes such as, FI. I have a paper due soon and although I like the topic, I can't bring myself to actually try and get this done and done well. 

2nd draft is due tomorrow. It is now 11pm and I haven't started....fuck.

Summer's almost here. I still don't have a job in line, and I really need to find one. ASAP. 

Other than that, I really have nothing else I feel like saying. I hate blog posts with no real direction. I much prefer to have one that is only about one specific thing and not just random updates of my life. Oh well, maybe next time.

Happy Easter, by the way. I haven't gone to church since Christmas, and I feel like shit. Maybe I should go to confession? 

Yeah, I think so. 

I have always known this, but for awhile I guess I forgot.

I'm an impatient person when it comes to certain things. And on many occasions, I can be quite stubborn. I get this from my dad. My mom says that in that way, we're just too much alike. Whenever we get in an argument, it lasts forever because both of us need to have the last word. And it ends up being that neither of us want to apologize because we never want to admit we're wrong, so neither of us do. We just wait it out until everything is okay again. 

Recently, I feel like at some points my stubbornness and need for things to be "my way" have annoyed some people, specifically some of my friends. And for that, I want to apologize. I'm not really sure if you read this, but regardless, I wanted to put it out there. I truly don't ever mean to cause any conflict or to be a hard ass about things, but it's just in my nature. 

Today is the anniversary for Brooks Berry's death. He and I were in a class together, but I didn't know him really well at all. He passed away three years ago, and to this day, I can remember the assembly we had in the old gym, where Mrs. Walker announced that Brooks had been taken off of life support. A huge gasp full of pain filled the space that day. The girls who were closest to him were hysterical. The once large assembly room seemed so small now, and it was as if the walls were closing in. As we sang sad church songs, my eyes filled with tears. A junior in high school, gone. 

I hadn't even planned on writing about Brooks today, for in all honesty, I forgot what today was. But I find it a little ironic. 

Not to be cliche or anything, but you really don't know when your last day is on this earth.  I'm not going to say that you should live each day as if it were your last. It would be great if you did, but that's just not very realistic. But I do think that it's important to try and move past the little things that are annoying to you. Yes, they make you want to scream sometimes or just walk away from everything, but at least you're alive. 

Lastly, to all of my friends, I want you to know, I'm sorry for some of the things I do or say or don't do or say. I'm sure I can piss you off sometimes. But I want you to all remember that, I'll always be by your side, even when you're down and out, and I for real mean that from the bottom of my heart.